It’s all too easy to get the wrong end of the stick with
networking. Perhaps it’s the memory of
the “networking opportunity” coffee breaks at conferences when people you’ve
never met sidle up and try to engage you in polite conversation in order to
sell you things that you don’t want to buy.
These opportunities can be a nightmare for introverts, who tend to
either hide in the toilets or pretend to catch up on emails. The back-slapping
extroverts stalk the room distributing their bonhomie in exchange for business
cards. And days later the emails start arriving
announcing that “you may remember that we met briefly at…” before launching
into a sentence that makes its way straight to the delete button.
There are two main reasons why this sort of traditional networking
is not working. Firstly, many people
seem to mistake quantity for quality. For them networking is all about trophy hunting
where size is everything. You don’t even
have to have met all the people in your network; as long as you recognise their
name or have a group in common that’s all you need to “invite” them to join
your Linkedin circle.
The second reason is that there are those who think that the
whole point of a network is to get work. For them it’s simply a case of a
mathematical formula: for example, Gladhanders Law which states that the
greater the number of people in your network the higher the chance that someone
will give you work. This, of course,
also misses the point. Opportunities
come from two main sources: the most important is personal recommendation, and
the basis of recommendation is trust. It’s
not just about people you know or with whom you’ve worked, it’s about people
whom you trust. A good example would be
plumbers. Would you employ a plumber whose
business card you picked up at a networking event or who you found on the
internet, or would you first ask your friends for a recommendation of someone of
whom they’ve got real experience?
The second source of opportunities is serendipity. And this
is where the new networks can play a role.
True networking is about enriching oneself. It is about being in an environment where
everyone is giving and everyone is taking.
It is about the sharing of ideas and insights, all with the purpose of
widening ones own knowledge and understanding.
It can be a truly enriching experience.
And the point is that the more enriched you are, the more you have to
offer; and the more that you have to offer, the more people (and opportunities)
will gravitate towards you.
So the moral is that rather than seeking out networking
events that will further your career, look for those where you can give and
where you can be enriched. And, finally,
remember it’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.
